For My Mom

"Its not an easy thing, to come up with words for an occasion such as this. In times of struggle, grief and pain, words never seem to suffice. They seem to skim over loss, as a sailboat does the ocean; far too insignificant to penetrate the surface of something so vast. As I write these words, I know that they will be heard, perhaps agreed with, perhaps not. They may cause laughter, they may evoke tears, and might even warrant a smile. These are the things words can do. I could write many words about her gifts. Words that explicate what made her such a perfect friend, co-worker, tap- dancer, nurse, decorator, chef, daughter, mother, sister, grandmother, wife... But who am I to write about those things? The World's greatest authors couldn't begin to compose such glorious prose, so I will not attempt it.

What I will attempt to write about is where we fit in. We, who are the friends, co-workers, tap-dancers, family. I have learned in my brief life on this earth that it is not unusual to know a person through those who have loved her/ Her friends, co-workers, tap-dance partners, those who she cooked for, and most importantly and evidently, her family offer more about Patsy than any prose could begin to. Her two beautiful daughters and remarkable husband. Each and everyone she knew and who knew her serves as a description of her. It would be impossible for anyone not to see her love and beauty alive in these people, and in that respect, she lives on a hundred-fold. She lives in the words we chose to say, and the words we chose not to say. She lives in the actions we take, and those we chose not to take. She lives in the kindness we give. She lives in the love we share. And when the inevitable day comes for all of use to be passed on into the lives of others, she will still be there, in everyone we know and love. Onward and upward and outward and everywhere.

I am blessed to have been made more by her. To have been stretched, and expanded and filled. I doubt anyone would disagree that we all are. So, in this way, death is not an end, but perhaps a means. A means for those of us still living to discover what are lives are about. And a means to perhaps begin to acknowledge the responsibility we have been given. We have inherited much incredible responsibility. It is my prayer that in such confusing and shattering times, which, in life will inevitably return, we remember to soften our words, consider our actions, show our compassion and allow the Patsy that can never be taken away her fullest potential in all of us. This is our challenge. May we all rise to it. We have been given so much."

-Michael Arden