A Year Ago Today - Written by my sister, Susie.

I couldn't think of better words to describe today, June 23rd, so I took this from my sister's blog. Today is just another day in our lives, like most have been over this past year, no more challenging than yesterday or tomorrow. In some ways today marks what has been the longest year of my life, in others the shortest year. We have now been through all the "firsts" without my Mom. However, I know... the "seconds" and "thirds" won't be better. It is a fact of life. Our Mom, Wife, Sister, Friend is gone, taken from us just one year ago. We have many many more years, many more holidays, many more birthdays, a birth, a wedding, etc. that we will mourn her loss and yearn for her Earthly presence.

"So much of me is made of what I learned from you.
You’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart" (Stephen Schwartz, "For Good")

It was one year ago today that my life was turned upside down and consumed by the most unimaginable tragedy. I want to say thank you to all of the wonderful people who have stood by my side and given me strength and comfort throughout this difficult year. In the weeks and months following our loss, people reassured me that "things will get easier." I truly appreciate the sentiment as I know it is the genuine wish of these people to see us find comfort. However, I don't think I would ever use the word easy to sum up the challenges we have faced and continue to face. Maybe the "easiness" that people refer to is our ability to better manage the pain, the resiliency we inherit, and the acceptance of a new "normal." I do know that I could not have made it through this past year with my head held high without the support of those around me. The longer I go without my beautiful mother, the more I miss her. The pain caused by a tragedy such as this does not diminish. We don't get to move on and I am uncertain that one can ever truly find "closure." The grief is still very much a part of our daily lives and sadness lines even the happiest occasions. But with every painful memory or tear shed in sadness, there are happy memories and tears of joy. And every day I thank God for the blessings that surround me and the warmth that fills my heart when I think of my mother. Everyday, I strive to be more like her. I know that by remembering her kindness and self-lessness and sharing her legacy with others, she will live in our hearts forever. Many of you may have read these words before or heard them spoken at her funeral, but I wanted to re-post them as a reminder of who my mother was and the way she continues to bless our lives.

"It is not an easy thing, to come up with words for an occasion such as this. In times of struggle, grief and pain, words never seem to suffice. They seem to skim over loss, as a sailboat does the ocean; far too insignificant to penetrate the surface of something so vast. As I write these words, I know that they will be heard, perhaps agreed with, perhaps not. They may cause laughter, they may evoke tears, and might even warrant a smile. These are the things words can do. I could write many words about her gifts. Words that explicate what made her a such a perfect friend, co-worker, tap-dancer, nurse, decorator, chef, daughter, mother, sister, grand-mother, wife... But who am I to write about those things? The world's greatest authors couldn't begin to compose such glorious prose, so I will not attempt it.What I will attempt to write about is where we fit in. We, who are the friends, co-workers, tap-dancers, family. I have learned in my brief time on this earth that it is not unusual to know a person through those who have loved her. Her friends, co-workers, tap-dance partners, those she cooked for, and most importantly and evidently, her family offer more about Patsy than any prose could begin to. Her two beautiful daughters and remarkable husband. Each and everyone she knew and who knew her serves as a description of her. It would be impossible for anyone not to see her love and beauty alive in these people, and in that respect, she lives on a hundred-fold. She lives in the words we chose to say, and the words we chose not to say. She lives in the actions we take, and those we chose not to take. She lives in the kindness we give. She lives in the love we share. And when the inevitable day comes for all of us to be passed on into the lives of others, she will still be there, in everyone we know and love. Onward and upward and outward and everywhere.I am blessed to have been made more by her. To have been stretched, and expanded and filled. I doubt anyone would disagree that we all are. So, in this way, death is not an end, but perhaps a means. A means for those of us still living to discover what are lives are about. And a means to perhaps begin to acknowledge the responsibility we have been given. We have inherited much incredible responsibility. It is my prayer that in such confusing and shattering times, which, in life will inevitably return, we remember to soften our words, consider our actions, show our compassion and allow the Patsy that can never be taken away her fullest potential in all of us. This is our challenge. May we all rise to it. We have been given so much. " - Michael Arden